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On Madonna's 11th album, Hard Candy, the queen of pop invites us to imagine her as a confectioner running a musical sweet shop. It all starts off well enough. Opening track Candy Shop is an agenda-setting call to arms, with Madonna promising a "special connection" and "plenty of heat".
The minimal, skittering drums are punctured by colossal stabs of synth, while Madonna purrs weak sweet shop-related innuendos: "Don't pretend you're not hungry, there's plenty to eat... I got Turkish Delights." Over and over again, she subsumes her pop sensibilities to their arsenal of clattering beats, hollered raps and over-fussy production.
On a ballad like Incredible, the overbearing din of an inexplicable electric guitar completely spoils an otherwise beautiful and delicate melody. It's almost like they threw everything at the wall to see what would stick, without realising it was a very sticky wall.
And that's a real shame because, if a handful of the tracks had been delivered to more producers with a touch more subtlety, Hard Candy could have ranked alongside Madonna's best.